The Golden Hour

Hard hitting realization

A coworker and I were discussing how we grew up and how we use dark humor to cope even as adults with the things we endured as children. For me it was a father that was a drug addict and an alcoholic and a mother who fell victim to his abuse and ran to alcohol to numb the pain and she said how she’s proud of me. I asked for what? She said because of the life I’m giving my children and I was still so confused and said thank you but what do you mean I’m just parenting the best I can. That’s when she hit me with something I will never forget she looked at me and said “you gave up drugs and that life when you had your kids, and I’m surprised you never realized how huge that is.” I said yeah but I’m a mom and they needed me more than I needed my addiction. She smiled and grabbed my hand and said “ Brooke you broke that toxic cycle, your kids have no idea what a mom or dad looks like that’s drunk or on drugs. You chose to live and to get better and for that your children will never know the pain in your heart” I cried like a baby because for me I struggle daily with the darkness but I look into their little faces and it’s like no amount of dark days can consume me. Life has a funny way of showing you what you need in some of your darkest moments and every day I get to look in the mirror and know that I am the adult I needed as a child. And my kids are getting to be just that… kids.